More Nonwork Angst

Yes, I could post more often, but no, I haven't felt like it. The weather has been too good, or too violent, or there haven't been enough things happening or there's been too much happening, or other excuses...make some up for me, they'll probably be accurate.

Tomorrow I go to an EI seminar where they're going to nag me about getting a job. Don't get me wrong, getting a job is high on my priority list, but I don't need help with getting a job, and I don't need the condescending attitude of people who are trained civil servant and are trying to get rid of all their "charges" so that the unemployment statistics go down and the gov't thumps everyone on the back. I realize that when I read, "This session starts at 9:00 a.m. sharp, anyone who arrives after that time will not be admitted," that this has been written for people who maybe aren't so good in the morning or who can't be bothered to be in a specific place at a specific time, or maybe for people who are, you know, truant for a living. That it's not written for the professional-type (or someone who can actually tell time) or someone with an analytical mind or someone who can read or someone who loved school, but for people who are working the system. Maybe. It didn't occur to me that being at a conference would preclude me from working, or make me unavailable for work, in fact, just the opposite, but I'll have to explain that because I didn't realize that there was provision for being absent on the claim form.

That probably sounds stupid on my part, and I'll admit that it is. If one is not sitting by the phone waiting for The Manager from SmartSet to call, how then is one available for work? You cannot be available if you're in another city, whooping it up at the Bruker Mixer, except for when you're chatting it up with the President of Bruker and having to admit that no, travelling 80% of the time cannot fit into my lifestyle.

Clearly, I am working myself up into a frenzy over this, which is likely nothing. I have been applying for jobs, but not more than one a week because if there were that many jobs available in my field I'd be doing backflips all the way to work. I am to some extent, not particularly employable in the general working world; I could go back to industry if there was something that caught my fancy, but my industrial experience is many years old and prospective employers aren't necessarily interested in it. My academic experience is somewhat esoteric, and not widely applicable, although I am capable of thinking and moving beyond my direct experience and applying my ability to problem-solve to another area. Thing is, how to prove that? It would turn out that my particular scientific talents are more useful to an engineering environment rather than, say, a pharmaceutical one (I wouldn't even bother applying for a job at a pharmaceutical company. I am not an organic chemist, and I have no interest in anything they do. Oh, and I think that about 60% of the industry is morally reprehensible, and I'm probably being really really conservative in that estimate.) but I'm not an engineer and I don't have the "papers".

My bigger problem with industry isn't the job-finding because I'm sure that at some point I could become employed. My problem, and yes, this is only going to prove that I am a total intellectual snob, is the stupidity. I cannot work with stupid people. I don't mean the "guys (gender non-specific guys) in the plant/on the floor/wherever they are" because these people generally know their jobs, know their machines, know exactly what can and can't go wrong, and know it better than any techhie or management type. I have total respect for the guys in the plant, just as I have total respect for administrative assistants (formerly secretaries) because they facilitate my professional career by doing the things that I have no time or capacity to do. I write a report, they make the report readable, and I bow before their particular skills and pay homage to their ability to turn my convoluted explanations into "excellent written communication" (which I always say I have by the way, whether it's true or not.)

No, it's the marketing people. The sales people. Management. It's the people with their heads so far up their asses they're actually inside-out. They lie to customers and then expect the people in the back room to be able to comply with their lies. "So Hilary, you know that AX401 lubricant formulation that we've been working on? Well, the customer had a problem with the odour when the product was heated up to 4000 degrees. Apparently there was a bit of smoking too, does that always happen? They've decided they want to use it with nylon, not polyethylene, that might make a difference. I said you could take care of all of this by Wednesday next week, and write up a full report. You can do that, right? Because I'm going on holidays and I said you could do it. I'll give you the contact information too. And Manager W says that she's sure you can handle this, it's just a few minor changes." naturally this is a voice-mail message, and an email. No direct contact has been made with me because Salesperson knows full well that they've just dumped a year of work on my desk, and that I am the one who has to go back and tell Manager W and the customer that they're on crack and this isn't happening any time soon and what the hell is anyone thinking here and as it is that formulation took two years to perfect and yes, nylon, polyethylene, it makes a bloody great difference ......... well, you get the idea.

Maybe by now the idea that you get is that I'm easily worked into a frenzy over small things, rather than getting the idea that I'm right. In my opinion both are correct. Without too many things to do, I do turn into a freak show about the smallstuff. And I am right about how things work in industry, where someone ignorant of a particular situation and yet who's in charge of that situation, makes promises that cannot possibly be kept. It's not just industry of course, that's just my experience. Hell, I've made academic promises that can't possibly be kept, just to get people to quit bloody bugging me. The difference there is that I'm saying that I can do something that I have no intention of doing, not that someone else will do what I know to be impossible.

So you see? Writing about all of this is a bit of a waste of space and air and your time, but this is what's going on. I will be very interested to see what happens in the little seminar tomorrow, and to discuss my case with an employment facilitator or whatever they call themselves (enabler perhaps). If I go in as the Objective Observer to study the behaviours of the people in the room, then maybe I won't break down and cry in frustration when they try to patiently explain to me that I should very much be waiting for that special call from The Manager rather than tripping off to high-tech and highly specialized conferences.

The only manager I want a call from right now is The Manager at Holt Renfrew, saying that I've been randomly chosen from a list of highly-qualified and underemployed and absolutely fabulous people (and how long a list do you think that is, really?) for a $20K shopping spree in their new flagship store in Vancouver, all expenses paid and you can stay for a week and never mind those pesky EI people, it's all worked out.