Back to work, after a few days off. My job has changed a little bit, since now I'll just be doing paperwork for the NMR Centre, but I'll be ensconced in the X-ray lab three days a week. Monday and Tuesday? I'm not going in. I could go in, but I'm not going to, and instead I'll stay home and work (in the garden and sit in the sun and read books).

As I've mentioned before, Wednesday is Staff Lunch Day, when, in the summer months, we eat on the patio at the grad club and eviscerate faculty and grad students without mercy. Then, after our veggie burgers and barbecued chicken salads and perogies and french fries and iced teas and waters (and one lonely little half-pint of County Ale) we go back to work for the self-same faculty and grad students again. We mostly do this so that we can tell more crazy stories about them the next week.

Today V and I were having a great laugh at one particular grad student's expense. He came into the lab, and asked me (he was going to ask J, the boss, but I waylaid him. In my opinion, my boss does too much work and too many things that he shouldn't bother doing. In my other opinion, my brilliant talents are underutilized...one of my most brilliant talents is stopping people in their tracks with a look.) if he could have four datasets finished up for his committee report.

"So, Mike, how much time are we talking about here? When might this report of yours be due?"

"Welllllllll. It might be due on Friday. I have some of the files, but I don't think that very many of them are finished. I just need some rtf files and some pictures."

"Day after tomorrow then Mike? That's what we're talking about? Four datasets in less than 48 hours? Excellent. It's people like you who rock my world."

Mike is six foot three and weighs in at about 250. I don't weigh half that much, and I'm five feet tall. He is clearly nervous, but he wants his data.

See, this is the thing. People come in and they know they're asking for something that's near to impossible to do. They, we (because the staff are all chemists too, many of whom have at least gone through an MSc and most with PhD's) are all great procrastinators, but the faculty and students have it over on us in that they can procrastinate, whereas we aren't allowed to.

I know of what I speak, being a former faculty member. I also knew though, having been a staff member before that, that it would never be a good idea to ask of someone that which you could not fulfill yourself.

"It's not a big deal," I said to Mike. Then I looked at him intently, he turned to stone, and V and I swept him out the door.