Modesty as a Homily Topic

I haven't ranted about church lately, and today isn't a rant, believe it or not. Father J was up at the front today, and he pointed out right at the beginning of mass that today's topic was going to be Modesty. Naturally every woman in the place was suddenly checking to see if she was revealing a little too much decolattage...but no, not that version of modesty was the topic of the day. Instead, he discussed the notion that one should not let pride rule one's thoughts or actions. Thus his reading came from Luke, where as an example, when entering a wedding one should not take the place of honour even if it should by right be yours, in case someone who deserves it more than you do should enter. In fact, one should take the lowliest place, and if warranted, one would be "moved up" to a place more deserving. Feed the beggars, the blind and the crippled before yourself, that kind of thing. Don't think of yourself as better than others, treat everyone as your most honoured guest, no matter their station. Give respect where it is perhaps not warranted by society's (or your own) expectations.

Father J did go on about how it is pride, the worst of the seven deadly sins, that stands in the way of treating our fellow humans with the level of respect they deserve. In light of some family issues that are at hand around here lately, I thought this to be a remarkably fitting homily. From the Buddhist perspective this would be termed Attachment, and it is the source of all suffering. If we let go of attachment/pride, then we are released from suffering, and we thus release other beings in our midst from suffering as well, or at least some of their suffering. They have their own attachments to work out.

In our own situation, one female family member, M, is distraught over not having been invited to another family member's barbecue. Never mind that it wasn't necessarily appropriate that M and her family be invited, but when she found out that she wasn't, hell of a particular fury was unleashed. Sadly, this fury involves her future sister-in-law and her mother-in-law, and stems from a complete misunderstanding and self-centred approach to their relationships. If M were not so attached to her own feelings and her own interpretations of what is right, she would see that the situation doesn't warrant being blown out of proportion. A quick conversation could have set all right. A quick scan: Is it me that wants things this way, or are things really this way? could have averted all arguments.

Pride stands in our way on a minute to minute basis. Attachment, pride, whatever you want to call it. Respect is hard to give when you want everything your way, and when you believe yourself to be most important no matter the cost to others. In a world view, we'd be a lot better off if we made efforts to understand each other rather than pass judgement on each other. Certainly I'm no better than anyone else, and I'm quick to judge or gossip or yell at the world as the mood comes upon me. I am also quick to forgive....including myself.

I don't worry about "sins" necessarily, and I know, the Church is all about the sinning...but I think I've been clear that I don't hold with much of what the Church teaches except as it runs through my own filter and reinterpretation. Each minute is a new one after all, and each minute gives opportunity for renewal. This is something in which I heartily believe.

Last night Hub was laughing at me; one of the relatives asked if we went to mass, and I said, "Yes, almost without exception." "OOh, you're good," she said to me, and I said, "Well, no. I look at it as an intellectual exercise. Every weekend we go to church, and then I spend the whole week deconstructing the homily. It's very entertaining."

Today then, I'm deconstructing online rather than having the discussion over dinner, because we're having ribs for dinner and that means much lip-smacking and finger-licking, and not so much on the examination of pride and its nasty overtures. Which reminds me, I should marinate those babies.

On the What Was I Thinking front: 50 lbs of Roma tomatoes are sitting on the kitchen island. I made a small dent in the box today, but this is going to be an entire week of making sauce. I don't have enough jars for it all and I don't have proper canning equipment, but I'm making the damn sauce because I hate buying it, and we're in Ontario and there are tomatoes everywhere. I've already used the bounty from our garden and those sauces are in the freezer. Hub's nephew has a peach tree, and peach jam is on the shelves but there are still peaches on the counter. I'm not complaining but at this juncture it seems never-ending. It is a good excuse to not study up for the job interview I have in three weeks. Hell, three weeks! Lots of time!